A certain type of heartbreak//

I can't breathe.
I can't I can't I can't breathe.
I can't talk to you like I used to, I can't look at you the way I did, I can't trust the words that flow so easily out of your mouth because I know they're lies.
I can't ask you what's wrong, because you'll say nothing, and I'll laugh because clearly, something is.
I can't love you without hating you because you're so clearly hurting me and you know it so well.
I can't remember all those late nights of promises, late nights of comfort, late nights of love and trust and loyalty and all that is friendship.
I can't look at you without hoping that one day, everything will be alright again and that kills me because something tells me it'll never be alright again.
I can't turn my back without thinking, without worrying that I'll feel a slice of blade and it'll be your hand holding it.
I can't breathe.
I love you I do I love you I do I love you
I do.
But I can't do this anymore.